Pending Fatherhood

I sit here in the dining room of my (mostly) clean and tidy house. I don’t normally see it this way to this extent, perfectly content to leave the straightening up until either “the morning” or “next chance I get.” I haven’t had the luxury of operating that way for about a week now. At a moment’s notice it could be time to run off down the street to the hospital, and everything needs to be okay/safe for the dog whenever that happens. She could be without us for as much as four or five days, and I’m sure she’ll look for ways to punish us for that.

I’ve been putting it off but it’s finally time to fill out my spot in the author bio in The Human Infant Project book Bunny kickstarted. I’ve barely even opened this book but I’ve already come across two quotes from Carl Sagan in it. How the fuck am I supposed to summarize myself as I am now for him? The blank space is begging to be filled and whatever I put down is there forever. Certainly this is a sign of everything to come. The kid will soak up everything and I’m going to make mistakes. I’m not going to be perfect and all I can hope to do is recognize mistakes quickly and correct them without doing any real damage.

But all of that is still to come, and this blank space won’t fill itself.